Do couples pick engagement rings together?

Shopping together for an engagement ring seems to be the ideal solution for many men who are struggling and feeling the pressure to find their partner the perfect ring. However, there is a looming societal expectation that proposals and what the ring looks like should be a surprise which only adds to the stress.  

Does this mean you can’t shop for an engagement ring as a couple? Not at all. In fact, there can be many benefits to sharing this exciting shopping experience with your partner.  

Do couples shop for engagement rings together? 

Definitely! If the possibility of getting engaged and eventually married is something that has been discussed for a little while, a lot of couples decide to explore various options for engagement rings long before the proposal officially happens.  

Whether you are just window shopping casually, or actively browsing and researching rings online, there are certainly a large number of couples that speak openly about the engagement ring. To put this into context, a recent survey revealed that 63% of couples who were questioned had selected an engagement ring together rather than it being picked out by the partner who was proposing.  

The advantages to deciding on the ring as a couple are fairly clear: if the bride is involved in choosing the all-important piece of jewellery you can be completely sure she will love it and feel good wearing it for the rest of her life because she has had an input in finding it. Additionally, it will help you both get on the same page when it comes to budget, stone choices, and style.  

No matter what she says about “not really caring” what the ring looks like, everyone has opinions and natural reactions when they see something they love (or perhaps not love), particularly on a piece of jewellery that carries so much meaning and is very personal.  

What is the process like when you’re shopping for engagement ring together?  

When you both agree that you want to pick the engagement ring together, it is a good idea to go to a high-quality jewellery store like Barbara Tipple and look online for ideas of exactly what you want. By using a bespoke jeweller like Barbara, you can take advantage of her skills and expertise to create the ideal ring. If you can’t physically go to the Portsmouth shop don’t worry, we now have a virtual shopping feature which allows you to live stream with the team and explore some potential ideas for the right ring.  

The bride might already have ideas on the type of ring she wants, whether she is thinking about more traditional or unusual engagement rings. But it is only by trying on different rings and looking at the different possibilities that she can begin to narrow down exactly what it is she wants in an engagement ring.  

For example, does she like gold or silver engagement rings? Does she want a diamond engagement ring, or is she interested in a different stone? 

She can also get a feel for what ring weight is comfortable for her to wear. A sturdy, thicker, and more durable ring might be her preference, or a more delicate and dainty style ring is better for her.  

Don’t feel like you have to buy the first ring your partner says she likes. At this stage she may not have much awareness on the full range of ring styles out there and might prefer a different ring further into the process. 


Does ring shopping together take the magic out of the proposal?  

Shopping for and picking out an engagement ring together can be a romantic adventure in and of itself. If you take her shopping for a ring and the proposal is still a total surprise for her, she will be happy with the spontaneity and get to enjoy the stunning ring she played a part in choosing.  

Alternatively, if she knows you are proposing on an upcoming trip or special occasion the excitement for it will build and it is an extra special element to look forward to. Plus, you can effectively plan to get photos that will beautifully capture the moment.  

Shopping together for an engagement ring certainly doesn’t have to ruin or detract from the proposal or finding the perfect ring. It could even make the process significantly less stressful for the proposing partner. The shared experience of shopping for or creating a bespoke engagement ring can only strengthen your bond.  

Realistically, if you have been in a relationship for a while and it is clear that you both want to get married, it is likely that your partner is already expecting a proposal at some stage. This means that even if you involve her in the ring buying process, you won’t be taking anything away from the magic of getting engaged. Ultimately, you can still keep the when, where, and how of the proposal a secret.  

Contact the team at Barbara Tipple 

If you’re looking for a gorgeous, unique engagement ring that is tailor-made for your partner, you’re in the right place.  

You can send us an email, give us a call, or visit our gallery to start an initial discussion about what you’re looking for. We can then organise a time to speak to you in detail about the design, budget, and timeframe you want for the ring. Or you can take advantage of our virtual shopping video feature.